Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 19, 2008

I wonder…

Sitting under a lemon tree.. I wonder…

Ok not so dramatic of a start.. but I wonder if what I am seeking in life is really worth pursuing. I have a dream… that one day … I will become a doctor!… and I am down to almost finishing. But i am exhausted. Can’t handle this anymore. So what am I to do?

Is it worth giving all your finance to? Is it worth risking every ounce of breath ? Is it worth being away from family for so long? is it worth it?

One ofthe main reason why I am going through recovery from all the vices is because of this dream.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 19, 2008

DWI hurt people

DWI hurt people… please don’t drink and drive… let me get that message out to you first..

And secondly, I just think this guy is hilarious when he is being arrested. Don’t be stupid. drunk, and get behind the wheel. You can appear on youtube like this old crazy lunatic:

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 17, 2008

Golden rule in life…

Here is the golden rule to life, trust no one except yourself. It doesn’t matter where you are in life, and how people treat you up front. You must not give them your complete trust. Always leave a point of doubt, because you will never know how it turns out in the end. So rule number 1 for survival, is to be able to do things on your own when necessary. And not learn to rely on people. Whenever you have a chance to learn something new. Learn it! Learn something useful for a change.

Anyhow, I learned today that life is like poetry. There are points in the poem that goes up and there are points that goes down. It depends on how you live your life, your poem can be chaotic or well composed. Just becareful that when you write your poem, you learn to rhyme. So that in the end things come out perfect.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 16, 2008

Debtor knocking at the foot of yor door

Life is scary, when debtor is knocking at the foot of your door.  I am telling you now, that I am having a horrible time finishing up medical school. The basic sciences alone is giving me a trying time. What would the clinical sciences hold for me. At least for the clinical sciences, I could work part time to get enough money to pay off debts. But with this I can’t even get a job.

Anyhow, when i said it before, that I am going through recovery. I meant every word of it.  And recovery means not have anything to drink and not spending money like I used to. Right now, I am just looking forward to the days which I have safely landed at home in the states. Then I will find our whether I have to come back or not. If I have to come back, i wouldn’t know what to do. Cause i would probably have a hard time surving 4 more months on the island with little finances.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 16, 2008

finance and depression, is there a link?

Is there a link between the two? I believe so.  Cause i am feeling the blue because of the green.  Things aren’t going the way i plan, and I am suffering. Wreckless spending has landed me onto this shoe and working hard is the only way out now.

Anyhow, as i look at myself in the mirror today, I barely recognize myself due to the way my body has wasted away. Medical school and the problems that come with it has cause drastic changes in how I feel and the way i take my self. Which brings me to think, is this really the profession for me or am I doing this for some other reason?

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 15, 2008

Recovery sponsors

I am currently looking for some recovery sponsor to help me financially on my way to recovery. I have a large sums of debt that I must pay off. And the only way that I will be able to pay off is through the help of the public, because I am running out of options. Therefore, I am looking for help from the reader.

if you are a company or selling a product, i am willing to post a link to your business on my website in exchange for donation.  All money are guaranteed to go toward the recovery process, because it goes straight to my parent and not to me. And they will be the ones handling my finance for the next year and a half until I learn responsiblity.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 15, 2008

DUI Hurt lives..

I had a DUI back in december, but luckily no one was hurt except for ruin my life. But what I did was selfish. I am ready to change and to make a differences in other people’s life. The above video is just one of the many message that I will be delivering to everyone in the future.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 15, 2008

Deviating from the point

I want to deviate from my writing on recovery for a momment today, and write about something I find interesting. As I was consolidating all my email from yahoo mail, gmail, and the microsoft outlook on my computer; I realized that there were some problems when I tried to place all my email messages into one central place so I do not have to search for it anymore all over the web. I want to have access to it anywhere, whenever i want.

Anyhow, onto the problems that I encountered. My first task was to move my email from microsoft outlook onto yahoo, because yahoo offers unlimited storage. So I tried to do that with the pop3 services. However, in the process of doing so. All I got was a headache, cause instead of uploading the email it download the email and erased it off the yahoo servers. And yes that was a stupid mistake on my part, because i could have told it to leave a copy on the server. Well, I stopped the program. And decided that I tried something else, after reading an article about gmail uploader. So i used gmail uploader and upload everything to my gmail account. And i had no problem uploading it to the justin @e9u.com account which I used gmail as the email hosting.  So  I have everything from microsoft outlook to there. My next task was to move everything from here to yahoo mail, so that I can have it as backup. So i was going to use the pop3 thing again, but this  time I tell myself i will remember to check the box that says leave a copy on the server. Anyhow, I log into yahoo mail account and setup the extra pop account. But it did not work cause it didn’t support SSL. So now I was stuck with all my email from microsoft outlook on gmail. Then I tried to transfer the email using trueswitch, but that didn’t work cause it didn’t have the option to use the gmail portion for e9u.com … Well I found a way around that. I just started a gmail.com account and transfer everything from yahoo account and justin @e9u.com onto it. After my trip back to america, I will officially shut down all my other email account and will use only justin @e9u.com because I have figure out a way consolidate all my email into one area, and have backups of it on two server : yahoo and gmail.

So please, any future contact with me. Please do it through that email, plus all my instant messaging will be brought to an abrupt halt, because i no longer feel the need to be online 24/7 checking email and chatting. Instead I will be more focus on rebuilding my life. Email message will be answered daily, around nightime. And posts on e9u.com will be post daily based on when i feel like blogging.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 13, 2008

I got a letter today

I got an email today from a friend, Deb. And in this email it was filled with encouragements. And along with these encouraging words, she gave me one heck of an ending to the email: “Remember, one day at a time, don’t beat yourself up, you didn’t get in a mess in one day it will take more than one to get out.  Just do the next right thing all day long and it will start to come together,” She made me realize that everyone makes mistake, but it is whether you are able get up and fix that mistake and move on is what makes you strong. Just as the previous vice president Dan Quayle once said: “The question in life is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up… And fight for what you believe in?”

Well the answer is i am ready, and I am fighting.  I realized that I made mistakes, and it is these mistakes that makes me who I am, and it is these mistakes that will make me successful. Just like the basketball star Michael Jordan states: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Thanks debbie. I love to hear more from you.

Posted by: nguyenjustin | August 13, 2008

sorting through the past

Another night in the dark, studying and sorting through the past. After a vigorous night of going over notes and textbooks. I spent a little bit of my time going over the past emails. I am working to sort through everything and put it all into one email. I am going to delete all the email address that I have ever had and use only one email from now on. justin @e9u.com. That way, I don’t have to go to different webmail server searching for old emails. And instead of using email as a source for causing troubles. I will use this new email address to write meaningful email that can somehow touch lives and make a differences. I want to be able to come back to my email account one day and not delete any email, but to be able to print it out and say that the email made a differences in my life and lives of others.

Anyhow, back to the point. As i was sorting through the email. I found all the past that haunted me. All the bad things I did and all the things that I didn’t do. It reminded me of all my failure in life and all the misery that I faced. And I think to myself, why do I hang on to the miserable past, when I know that it will only hurt me. Why can I not let go and face the present and look toward a brighter future?

Blah, that was written to make people realized that i know the things that are going on in my life. And it is time for me to face the music…. life is hard; live, learn, and change. Or as my high schoool history teacher (coach Ludlow) would say: “adapt, improvise, and overcome”.

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